I want to view mankind, myself, and my husband in an equal light. I want to break free from the "less than" and "better than" chains that bind me.
I want to live fearlessly.
I want to eat right because I love my body and not because I'm afraid of gaining weight/physical ailments.
I want to exercise because I LOVE my body and not because I'm afraid of what others think or afraid of hating myself because my pants pester and squeeze at my hips.
I want to forgive my Grandad for the damage he caused his family, my mother -the foolish traditions of my Grandad were unwittingly passed down to me.
I want to TRULY UNDERSTAND WHO I AM. I know I am a Child of God. But I know I don't fully understand what that means.
I do not know how to do any of these things. I am powerless to manage them.
I don't feel like I'm failing... I feel empowered in my admittance, and I embrace the freedom of not knowing.
I have no answers. I have no self-help tools. I know nothing.
Lord, help thou my unbelief.
Lord, I love, but I also fear. Fear is of The Father of all Lies... fear is a lie. The opposite of Love is Fear.
To love, to understand love, to let go of fear... to have the freedom to shed my prideful layers and show my vulnerability -I will connect with Thee, with myself, with my family, with all.
Help my unbelief.