Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Threw Off My Groove


Last night, I broke a boundary I had put in place for my On My Own week (in the which I belt Les Mis at the top of my lungs while I vacuum.  and shower.  and curl my hair).

I talked to my husband.

Okay, before you sarcastically gasp and fan your face let me just say: I accidentally skyped him for over 2 hours.  TWO HOURS!  FACE TIME!  We laughed a lot, and we talked a lot, and we laughed some more.
I got to bed around one in the mornin.

So I slept in.

Yesterday I woke up early (on my own, per theme) and I did an hour of healing yoga:
It felt amazing (I streamed it from my Amazon Prime account -for free!) and after I was done, I logged onto youtube and streamed Music and the Spoken Word episodes (did you know they had those on youtube? Awesome) while I studied my scriptures for over thirty minutes.
As the day wore on, I pulled out my sheet music and played The Hush Sound:

And then I slowed it down a little with some P&P soundtrack music.

I took a bath.  I even shaved my legs because I wanted shaven legs and not because I looked at the calendar and realized that it was "time" for "shaved" "legs."
You know what I mean...

I pulled out the guitar and I taught the kids how good it feels to sing, "Hey Jude" at the top of their little lungs.

We shook our booties to our dancing game.  We ate grilled cheese for dinner which might have been boring had I not cut and stacked the sandwiches *just so* and pronounced dinner not JUST Grilled Cheese, but
The Tower of Sandwiches!
I pull out my best Circus Ringleader voice for special occasions (like last night, when I'm too lazy to crack open a CAN of tomato soup and would rather the kids be happy with just cheese and bread, buttered and fried).

It was a great day.
We ended it by Skyping with Dad, and when the kids were done talking (read: making faces and noises), I hopped on to tell him one quick, funny story about our oldest.
Two and a half hours later, I logged off.
I slept in because I got to bed late.  I did yoga this morning with a crying baby in the background (not exactly a healing experience...) and I also woke up with PMS, a swollen sore on the inside of my bottom lip that I can't seem to NOT bite repeatedly, and a missing cat.

And I'm like.

I keep wanting to text my husband.
"Pics are paid for, so no worries."
"Can't find Spatsy the Catsy.  Hope he turns up."
"My pants don't fit today..."
"I started buying us tickets to a Jimmy Eat World concert and then realized we have a baby and can't go."
"I read the book of Enos this morning, and I'm pretty sure it was written in 2013.  Just sayin."

My son has been on the verge of tears all day.
My daughter is LOVING it, as older siblings tend to do...
My baby is darling.  when she's being held.

Overall, it's still been a good day.  But WHY why why do I break boundaries?  Why do I do that?  I threw off my groove!

Trying to get it back has been a struggle.  
I just needed someone to talk to about it -someone who understood WHY he's gone and WHY I can't just call him and talk it all out.

Tonight I will work on my recovery stuff On My Own. I'll get to bed earlier.   Tomorrow I'll wake up earlier and fit in my yoga and MoTab.
And after a morning of playing Indians with a gaggle of pint-sizers, I have a counseling appointment.

In the meantime, do you know if you can take Midol while nursing?
(I jest.)


  1. Love you. One day at a time. Your doing better than you think you!

    Also, after reading your title, I keep hearing these words from "The Emperor's New Groove:" "Beware of the groove..."

  2. Love it.

    I don't know about midol, but you can take Ibuprofren...

    You rock.

  3. You are amazing and yes, you are living a gorgeous life.You're the coolest mom ever:)