Friday, March 8, 2013

More If


I've been striving to work on the Steps daily.  It's been a challenge -a Good For Me Challenge.  Because I have a loves-to-be-held baby, setting aside time for myself isn't something I would do very much of.  But I have a sponsor to be daily accountable to, and it MAKES me put the baby down, put the kids to bed, and spend some time reading and journaling...
Sometimes it's 45 minutes.  Sometimes it's 15.
And I've been amazed -really amazed -to find the Spirit speaking clearly to me.  It's almost as if the Spirit realizes that I only have so long... so impressions and inspirations come quickly, distinctly -almost (ALMOST) loudly.

A few posts ago, I wrote some thoughts I'd been having on Manliness... the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling has been bouncing around in my head for weeks and weeks.  Since writing that post and working on Step 3, I felt prompted to really have AT that poem.
I've felt I should memorize it (thanks, MM, for that).
I felt I should pull it apart and reference scripture on it -and THAT has been truly enriching.
And last night, I felt prompted to revise the poem to read exactly as I interpret it.

My Revisions are marked {so}

If {WoPAfied}
If you can keep your head when {your husband}
{Is} losing {his} and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when {he} doubts you,
But make allowance for {his} doubting too: {sick brain}
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor {try to} talk {him into recovery};

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph{s} and Disaster{s}
And treat those two impostors just the same {and keep sane}:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by {your husband} to make a trap for {you},
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with {God and} worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your {progress}
And risk it on {a marriage full} of pitch-and-toss,
And {watch him} lose, and start again,
And never breath a word about {his} loss {except to the Lord
And your support system, knowing you’ll suffer if you don’t share}
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will {, your gut, and the thought of The Kids} which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your {specifics to yourself},
Or walk with Kids---{and make sure the addiction leaves them –as much as possible –un} touch{ed},
If neither foes nor {nor husband} can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of {prayers to Above},
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be recovered, my love!

Rudyard Kipling{ish}

1 comment:

  1. Awesomeness! I am going to print this one out. I love your thinking girl. So incredibly creative:)