On Sunday, I sat by and watched as my husband was set apart by the Stake President as a Church Service Missionary over the ARP specifically for pornography.
My husband and I are now companions.
For a few weeks -even before we knew my husband would have this calling -I'd felt prompted to set up a meeting with the Stake President to tell him two things.
1) I'm quitting my calling.
2) You know where to find me if I'm needed.
I'm not usually a quitter, but after nearly two years of holding my support group and having no one come, it became difficult to face the feelings of loneliness I faced each week in the parking lot of the seminary building.
That all changed a few weeks ago as I listened to the Stake President address the adults. His message was one of hastening. As I listened to him, it really sunk in that I AM A MISSIONARY. I'm set apart! I left that meeting with firm resolve to magnify that calling.
My husband and I faced him on Wednesday night and offered our missionary services.
Can we train Bishops?
Can we line up firesides?
Can we educate the members?
With a plan to move forward in our work, we stepped out of the Stake Center and in the middle of the freezing winter night, I wrapped my arms around my companion. I appreciate his humility -his willingness to look the Stake President in the eye and admit what he's been through, both in sin and emotion. He spoke of the seriousness of pornography, it's more-powerful-than-meth quality: both of which he hadn't realized until he'd read He Restoreth My Soul and written his Step 1 inventory.
And which I hadn't REALLY realized until I listened to his Step 1 inventory.
This morning I woke up early and in a dark house where the only noises I could hear were heavy breathing from little chests. I turned my phone on and saw my husband had written a new post.
It was about seeing God in his life.
This last weekend as I escaped to the city, I decided to spend the day looking for just that: manifestation that God was in my life.
It started with coming over a hill and seeing the desert lit up with brilliant winter sunlight with the snow-capped Peaks in the background (quick brag: I've totally been on top of the Peaks. A few years ago, I rode up the ski lift with my husband and we were pelted in hail in early September. As we rode up, I was overwhelmed at the beauty of creation. My husband spit off the side of our seat to see how far it would fall. Men and women are so different. The end.)
The pictures taken of Arizona are never quite enough. This really is a breath-taking State.
I found God in the last grid-form journal on the shelf. Lined journals stifle my ability of expression, and I prefer grids. They don't boss me around.
My favorite Bed and Breakfast is ALWAYS booked on weekends, but the weekend I went every room but one was open. It was a miracle. And a gift from God. Even the owners were amazed, and out of the goodness of their heart gave me a radical discount on the room.
God took complete care of me that day.
And each day.
My husband is going to look for signs that God is in his life today. I'm going to accept the same challenge and take picture proof.
And to put in a plug yet again for Frost. My love for Frost blooms in the winter as I try each year to take a Frostwalk in the snow and quote poetry with friends. I issue to my friends and they to me the same invitation I issued my husband last weekend.
And now I issue it to you.
-you come too.
I'd love to see pictures of God's love manifested in your life. I want to publish them here in a blog post full of hope -a post that will give us each a stronger testimony that God is in OUR details. Take pictures today, will ya? Send them to me, will ya?
Some of you have my cell phone number. Text me.
Everyone has my email (email@example.com). Email me.
I want to publish your picture with the WHY of it. Name optional.
Can you do that for me today? Pretty please? or as my Dad would say, "Pretty please with monkey snot on top?"
(He's a charmer, that one.)
Today, my husband and I are on the same page. With everything we're going through, this is a red-letter occasion. Join us in celebration of our same-pageness, our same calling-ness, and our same loving God.