Jane sent me this "Advice from Elder Busche" and so often I find his voice in my head saying, "Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks."
I feel grateful when morning light covers my face... like, 'hey, I have been given another day!'
Bronco, our retired and arthritic K9 Belgian Malanois, keeps me company as I breathe in fresh air and dodge cow biscuits on the farm road.
Last Friday, I walked a road between two fields -one was hard, covered in stubbled weeds and the other had been plowed under. I thought about my Grandpa. He'd come into my Sunday School class a few weeks ago to teach my 14 year olds about seed growth.
"Soil need oxygen," he said, sitting on his walker, waving his callused hands in the air for effect, "How do you get oxygen to soil."
"You turn it over?" the kids asked timidly.
It sounds so simple, and it is. In theory, it is simple. The more I get to know God, the more I realize that simplicity is His calling card. But as I looked at the upturned ground that morning, I felt it. I know what it's like to "get oxygen to the soil." If I want to grow a good seed, I need to prepare myself for it to take root. And upturning soil is painful, painstaking! This week, I'm working on formulating boundaries for myself so good seeds can start sprouting within my soul.
My counselor suggested this formula: Behavior -------> Alternate Behavior -------> Consequence
Example: I feel self-judgement shame ---> I think of a positive affirmation to counter the shame and dig deeper to find the roots of the shame ---OR I wallow in the shame in which case -----> I read three chapters in "Captivating" (a book about the beauty of a woman's soul) and read my positive affirmations out loud to myself.
I'm turning over the soil.
Oxygenation will be a blessed process, ongoing forevermore.