Sometimes, though, I forget to listen to music that I actually like, and I plaster my life with classical music and soothing tones.
Yesterday I had a rough day, I was coming off of confessing to my husband. He was at work, and I was home with a swirl of emotions (and hormones, it turns out -this baby has not left me with a clean slate to work with).
I had to go to the store.
But I couldn't seem to get off the computer. I was shaking and checking the forum, wondering if all my wifeys would sort of kick me our of their herd (not that I'm somehow just one in a grand herd of cattle, but I can't help but think in cow terms preeeetty much constantly).
When I finally looked at the clock and realized I'd pushed it JUST about as far as I could, I packed up my two littlests and went to Wal-Mart. It's a thirty minute drive, and it was really windy yesterday.
I had to speed.
Had to get milk.
And a new controller. I can't BELIEVE I broke that controller. I can't believe how much I rely on that stupid playstation. It's like, if I didn't have Netflix, the world would somehow crumble! Ugh, pathetic.
Oooomph, I can't believe I just backed over that stupid well thingy again. You would think after living here for three years...
This day is so ridiculous. I'm failing at it. Failing, failing, failing,
Oh, smile and wave at the neighbor! Hi! I'm a nice person and so are you!
How DID the tank of gas get so low? Oh well, I can't worry about that right now. If I don't make it back in time, I won't be here when the bus drops my daughter off and this is HER day. Her big graduation day.
I should have left earlier. If I had it together, I would have.
Stupid Rascal Flatts. I hate Rascal Flatts.
At this point, I changed the radio station to our very local station (ten miles away as opposed to 75) and Loretta Lynn filled my ears.
And peace came. Happiness came. Energy, strength, it all came pouring through my speakers, and my used Jeep Cherokee's front seat (which is loose because those are the kinds of cars I drive) bounced around as I shook my hips as far as my seat belt would let me.
Loretta's husband cheated on her. A lot. And she wrote a lot of songs about it. A lot. Youtube gives us, "Fist City" and "You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man."
Loretta Lynn is the one who inspired me before I "met" women like Rhyll and Colleen Harrison. When I was in Victim Land, I would crank some Loretta and took her strength.
And yesterday, when I turned the radio station and heard my Loretta coming through the pipes, I knew there was no such thing as coincidences.
The Lord was telling me in such a personal way, "Here's some strength, girl."
I came home from that trip and had two piano lessons to teach, a house to clean, a cake to bake, inlaws to host... and I cranked my Loretta Lynn Pandora station and giggled at how applicable classic country is to addiction.
and these boots were made for walkin'
I'm so grateful for the Lord's tender awareness of me and my needs. Oh, to be so aware of my own children!
On that note, Loretta is touring this year. Think I can talk my main squeeze into a concert? If not, I'll snag one of my wifeys with a taste for twang.
I just love this clip where the media asks Loretta is she's a feminist. Her answer resonates with me. She's resilient. Does that make her a feminist? It just makes her honest and strong. And, incidentally, it makes her one of my wifeys.
"Why didn't you just divorce him?" The interviewer asks.
"I loved 'im," she says.